![]() ![]() If, on the other hand, you just loved the epic fantasy of the trilogy and think that the idea of leading the armies of Middle-Earth into mortal combat sounds like your cup of tea - step right up. ![]() If you complain loudly at the removal of Tom Bombadil from the films, or have ever been known to make a statement like "the removal of the scouring of the Shire ripped the narrative and moral heart from Tolkien's vision!" in the pub, then do not seek out this game. If you're not getting the hint yet, what I'm saying is this: if you're a Lord of the Rings purist, look away now. Saruman is running around with a group of orcs somewhere near Minas Tirith casting powerful battlefield spells, Sam had the assistance of a number of the guards of Gondor when he handed Shelob her arse on a plate, and oh - that Balrog I mentioned? I just summoned it to kick about some foes in the fields of Rohan. Earlier on, I rescued Boromir from his death on the shores of the Anduin, and he's been bravely fighting alongside the forces of Gondor ever since and Gandalf never fell to the whip of the Balrog in Moria, because Aragorn stuck the bugger with his sword first. However, I've taken a certain degree of sadistic pleasure in sending him to his death - three times, now. I won't say which character I'm talking about, because I've been assaulted by rabid fangirls before and I still occasionally grieve for the children I will probably never be able to have. There is a certain character in the Lord of the Rings whom I wouldn't mind seeing being turned into stew for an Uruk-Hai raiding party. ![]() In the revisionist fantasy of The Lord of the Rings, The Battle for Middle-Earth, death has lost its meaning. It's not that I haven't enjoyed killing him each time it's more the crushing disappointment when he cheerfully appears once more at the start of the next mission. It's two o' clock in the morning, and I've just killed him for a third time. "How many times do I have to kill you, dammit!" ![]()
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